Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Sunday, April 1, 2012
It's April Fool's Day - He had babies!!!!!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Thirty Days of Truth - Day Nine
Since I'm feeling a bit better today, and because I'm finding that I've lost quite a few followers throughout my away time which makes me terribly sad, I'm going to try to catch up here a little bit. So to get the show on the road, here we go. Day Nine.
Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.
There have actually been quite a few of these, I think another side effect of my sleeping disorder. In some ways it's a lot like depression, or maybe it's the depression that is a side effect of the disorder, I don't know. It's hard to force myself to do things sometimes. Well, a lot of times. I don't call people like I should, I mean to send cards and keep in touch and time just keeps passing and then I feel like it's ridiculous to try to regain something that's slowly slipping away. I'm actually in that place right now with one person even as we speak.
The first was one of my best friends. We worked together at the grocery store, were literally inseparable, and then we got married. Had kids and had disagreements about how to best be a Mom. She didn't understand why I couldn't drive out the hour to her house and just let Kitty sleep on the way there and back. I was a "When it's bedtime, Kitty gets her crib" kinda Mom. No driving around all hours of the night with her sleeping in the car seat. Go figure huh? A narcoleptic obsessed over her infants sleeping habits. Oh well. I haven't spoken to or seen her in years and some day? I wish I'd done things differently, wish I'd kept in touch. Other days, I'm just thinking that it's a two way street and what's meant to be will always be.
The next, oddly enough was family. My cousin. We grew up almost six hours apart, but with parents who can't drive it seems a lot farther. We visited during the summers and sometimes they spent time with us during the summer. We were like sisters until boys came along. I guess that's no surprise. She didn't want to leave her boyfriend of the moment to come to Richmond for a week, so we spent less and less time together. Then we got married, had kids six months apart. Then she went through a series of divorces, moved around a lot, things got difficult and well, now I haven't talked to or seen her in probably 10 years.
The last one? I'm halfway trying to keep it from happening, but I think it's at the stage that it's almost inevitable. I've mentioned that I roleplay. For two years, I roleplayed with this person, and for two years we created one of the most intense, most realistic relationships I think you can in writing. I devoted so much time and energy in the writing it was like an extension of myself. I know at the time that it was something I NEEDED. To create something that was perfect because my life had fallen apart. No job, health sucking, no money, seemingly no hope. When we wrote, all that disappeared and this miraculous story unfolded. Unfortunately, people do what the need to do when they need to do it, and sometimes, it's to fill a void. I don't know if that was the case for her, but after two years, she found other things and stopped writing. We tried to keep in touch on facebook, and we still talk, although it's rare. I think I still feel hurt that she walked away the way she did, even though I can't blame her for it. I don't know, I don't want us to ever NOT be friends, but right now it just feels so distant and I miss those days when we talked every day and shared so much together.
And that my friends, is the end for now. Another day, another truth.
Yours truly,
Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.
The first was one of my best friends. We worked together at the grocery store, were literally inseparable, and then we got married. Had kids and had disagreements about how to best be a Mom. She didn't understand why I couldn't drive out the hour to her house and just let Kitty sleep on the way there and back. I was a "When it's bedtime, Kitty gets her crib" kinda Mom. No driving around all hours of the night with her sleeping in the car seat. Go figure huh? A narcoleptic obsessed over her infants sleeping habits. Oh well. I haven't spoken to or seen her in years and some day? I wish I'd done things differently, wish I'd kept in touch. Other days, I'm just thinking that it's a two way street and what's meant to be will always be.
The next, oddly enough was family. My cousin. We grew up almost six hours apart, but with parents who can't drive it seems a lot farther. We visited during the summers and sometimes they spent time with us during the summer. We were like sisters until boys came along. I guess that's no surprise. She didn't want to leave her boyfriend of the moment to come to Richmond for a week, so we spent less and less time together. Then we got married, had kids six months apart. Then she went through a series of divorces, moved around a lot, things got difficult and well, now I haven't talked to or seen her in probably 10 years.
The last one? I'm halfway trying to keep it from happening, but I think it's at the stage that it's almost inevitable. I've mentioned that I roleplay. For two years, I roleplayed with this person, and for two years we created one of the most intense, most realistic relationships I think you can in writing. I devoted so much time and energy in the writing it was like an extension of myself. I know at the time that it was something I NEEDED. To create something that was perfect because my life had fallen apart. No job, health sucking, no money, seemingly no hope. When we wrote, all that disappeared and this miraculous story unfolded. Unfortunately, people do what the need to do when they need to do it, and sometimes, it's to fill a void. I don't know if that was the case for her, but after two years, she found other things and stopped writing. We tried to keep in touch on facebook, and we still talk, although it's rare. I think I still feel hurt that she walked away the way she did, even though I can't blame her for it. I don't know, I don't want us to ever NOT be friends, but right now it just feels so distant and I miss those days when we talked every day and shared so much together.
And that my friends, is the end for now. Another day, another truth.
Yours truly,
Friday, February 11, 2011
Thirty Days of Truth - Day Seven
Since I'm still awake, this technically counts as today, as in not yesterday which technically happened about a half hour ago. Yup. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Day Seven - Someone who has made your life worth living.
There are too many people I could say this about.
My Mom, who has always been an inspiration to me.
My Dad, who even after he was gone, always left me wanting to be more like he'd been.
My Husband who has never given up on me no matter how psycho I've gotten.
Honestly though, if I HAVE to pick one, it would have to be the one any mother would choose.
My daughter.
I've never been one to keep up with periods. I figure they're bad enough when they come, they don't deserve to be scheduled. The day I realized it had been a couple of months since I had one, I actually remembered the night that made me stop having them. One of those "You're kidding me???? Really?" moments of clarity after the fact.
I had pretty much decided I didn't want to have kids. I don't really do that well with them until they're into tattoos and piercings and talking about grown up stuff. Not that I don't like them or anything, I've just never really been into hanging out with the wee ones. I do okay with them when I am with them, but well, you know what I mean.
I'm not revealing anything my husband doesn't already know so don't feel bad for him. My first thought was pure terror. I was pregnant.
For three solid months I cried. I was horrified. I didn't really want to be pregnant at all. That changed the very first time I felt that little life inside me move. A single push against my stomach and I was in love. My pregnancy (other than the tears) was picture perfect. No morning sickness, no missed sleep, I only gained 19 pounds which I lost three of with the flu the week before she was born. Eating was no problem because all I wanted was watermelon, popsicles and white grapes. Perhaps that's WHY I only gained 19 pounds, or maybe it was because my german doctor threatened to not deliver the baby if I gained over 25, who knows.
Labor was a little bit of a different story, but I won't go into it here.
From the moment that little girl was born, she became my life. I started striving to be a better person because I was HER mother, and I wanted to be everything that would make her proud. What I didn't know then was that it didn't matter to her what I did for a living, what I looked like, or anything else. She loved me for being me and that in itself was a lesson in love.
Watching her grow, seeing her mature into the beautiful young woman she is today has been worth anything to me. She's my best friend, the coolest person I know. Through a bout of depression that had me thinking of suicide, even though I'm pretty sure I'd never go through with it, thinking about her would draw my thoughts to better things. Every day with her has been my own miracle. She inspires me, motivates me, makes me laugh, makes me cry, makes every day a new adventure and I love her so damn much I can't imagine now having never had her. Never experiencing the "uppy, uppy" or "do it again, do it again!" or "little bear's over, nappy time", never fighting with her to get rid of her pacifiers, it's all just unfathomable now. I'm a mother. I made a beautiful little person (with some help of course!) and in turn that little person has made me a better person.
Now with her being an adult, getting ready to graduate and start college, there's just as much to look forward to, even if it's different than the pretty little smiles over the sides of her crib. It just goes to show that being a mother never changes, just the experiences that go along with it. Once a mother, always a mother, and that my friends, makes every single day of my life worth living.
And now, the mandatory Mommy Pride option. Pictures. The Kitty Princess.
And now I'm done. Thanks for ooooh'ing and aaaaaah'ing appropriately. :)
Day Seven - Someone who has made your life worth living.
There are too many people I could say this about.
My Mom, who has always been an inspiration to me.
My Dad, who even after he was gone, always left me wanting to be more like he'd been.
My Husband who has never given up on me no matter how psycho I've gotten.
Honestly though, if I HAVE to pick one, it would have to be the one any mother would choose.
My daughter.
I've never been one to keep up with periods. I figure they're bad enough when they come, they don't deserve to be scheduled. The day I realized it had been a couple of months since I had one, I actually remembered the night that made me stop having them. One of those "You're kidding me???? Really?" moments of clarity after the fact.I had pretty much decided I didn't want to have kids. I don't really do that well with them until they're into tattoos and piercings and talking about grown up stuff. Not that I don't like them or anything, I've just never really been into hanging out with the wee ones. I do okay with them when I am with them, but well, you know what I mean.
For three solid months I cried. I was horrified. I didn't really want to be pregnant at all. That changed the very first time I felt that little life inside me move. A single push against my stomach and I was in love. My pregnancy (other than the tears) was picture perfect. No morning sickness, no missed sleep, I only gained 19 pounds which I lost three of with the flu the week before she was born. Eating was no problem because all I wanted was watermelon, popsicles and white grapes. Perhaps that's WHY I only gained 19 pounds, or maybe it was because my german doctor threatened to not deliver the baby if I gained over 25, who knows.
Labor was a little bit of a different story, but I won't go into it here.From the moment that little girl was born, she became my life. I started striving to be a better person because I was HER mother, and I wanted to be everything that would make her proud. What I didn't know then was that it didn't matter to her what I did for a living, what I looked like, or anything else. She loved me for being me and that in itself was a lesson in love.
Watching her grow, seeing her mature into the beautiful young woman she is today has been worth anything to me. She's my best friend, the coolest person I know. Through a bout of depression that had me thinking of suicide, even though I'm pretty sure I'd never go through with it, thinking about her would draw my thoughts to better things. Every day with her has been my own miracle. She inspires me, motivates me, makes me laugh, makes me cry, makes every day a new adventure and I love her so damn much I can't imagine now having never had her. Never experiencing the "uppy, uppy" or "do it again, do it again!" or "little bear's over, nappy time", never fighting with her to get rid of her pacifiers, it's all just unfathomable now. I'm a mother. I made a beautiful little person (with some help of course!) and in turn that little person has made me a better person.Now with her being an adult, getting ready to graduate and start college, there's just as much to look forward to, even if it's different than the pretty little smiles over the sides of her crib. It just goes to show that being a mother never changes, just the experiences that go along with it. Once a mother, always a mother, and that my friends, makes every single day of my life worth living.
And now, the mandatory Mommy Pride option. Pictures. The Kitty Princess.
 |
| With my Grandfather, 1995 |
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| Horse Show, 1999 |
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| One of my fave pics of her ever. |
And now I'm done. Thanks for ooooh'ing and aaaaaah'ing appropriately. :)
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