April ends......let May begin!

April apparently was the lull before the storm.  I finished NaPoWriMo though and I’m exceptionally proud of myself for that at least!  

May has brought the end of my daughter’s sophomore year of college and with it a final project that had us up until anywhere between 5 a.m. and 8 a.m. for an entire week.  No, I didn’t help her with it per se, I just didn’t want to leave her downstairs alone working by herself and stressing out.  She stressed out anyway, but last night we all went out to Fridays for a celebratory dinner.  She’s officially a junior now.  Can’t believe the time went by so fast, but I can’t believe it’s almost my birthday AGAIN either.  Don’t ask which one, because I’m not sure I’m willing to tell anymore, and that my dears says a lot.  Age IS a state of mind, but my mind isn’t quite ready to wrap around this one, no matter that I feel about 20 most of the time.

May has also brought my very first root canal.  I wasn’t worried about it, despite my husband’s fear on my behalf.  (He is terrified of dentists) I have a pretty high pain tolerance so the only part I was dreading was the xrays which make me attempt to puke my guts up every single time.  They scheduled me for an hour and a half and three hours later I was on my way home.  In a fashion that is true to me, I had to REDO the only part I was dreading not once, or twice, or even three times.  I had to redo xrays FOUR times because their computer system upgrade over the weekend had apparently done something odd to the xray software.  Yay me.  So after three hours in the chair, I made my way home with a filling and four fewer roots than I went in with, along with a nice little bottle of Loritab.

The dentist said  it was going to hurt like a bear for two to three days. I think he was trying to prepare me just in case.  I had a small amount of pain the night of the procedure and went ahead and took the pain pills that night and about half of the following day since I wasn’t sure if it just didn’t hurt or if the pain pills were keeping the pain at bay.  I’m pretty sure it didn’t hurt, but I had a lovely day of drug induced coma the day following and am now back to myself just in time to begin summer vacation with my kiddo.

Next week is our self proclaimed “cupcake week”.  Another celebration for the end of her sophomore year of college.  She’s expressed an interest in dropping out of school and starting a cupcakery.  Ha.  Any parents out there know how that conversation ended.

She’s okay with school, just had a trying year and hopefully the summer will rejuvenate her for the next two years at which time if she still wants she’ll have my blessing to try to start her cupcakery.  So here’s the list of our cupcake agenda.  Anyone have any ideas for a new, or interesting cupcake to add to the list?

Reeses Peanut Butter Cupcakes

a chocolate peanut butter cupcake with a creamy peanut butter frosting.

Raspberry Vanilla Cupcakes

A vanilla cupcake with fresh raspberry filling and a raspberry cream frosting.

Pumpkin Caramel Cupcakes

A pumpkin cupcake infused with caramel and topped with a spiced caramel cream cheese frosting.

Caramel Pear Cupcakes

A vanilla cupcake with pears and caramel topped with caramel cream cheese frosting

Banana Split Cupcakes

A vanilla ice cream cupcake filled with strawberries and pineapple topped with banana whipped cream frosting drizzled with chocolate and caramel topped with a cherry

Peppermint Patty Cupcakes

A dark chocolate cupcake baked with peppermint patties and topped with a chocolate peppermint frosting.

Hummingbird Cupcakes

A banana, pineapple and coconut cupcake with lush rum buttercream frosting

We haven’t worked out all the recipes for the following so feel free to offer suggestions and/or ideas!

German Chocolate Cupcakes

Italian Creme Cupcakes

Blueberry Pound Cake Cupcakes

Rocky Road Cupcakes

Peach Pie Cupcakes

Dreamsicle Cupcakes

Lemon Meringue Cupcakes

Boston Creme Cupcakes

Bananas Foster Cupcakes

Smores Cupcakes

Cucumber Cream Cheese Cupcakes

and the finally for all you ladies out there

the Aunt Flo Cupcake which will be a death by chocolate cupcake with an indulgent chocolate ganache filling and dark chocolate cream frosting topped with a Midol.  

Any suggestions?  

We’re starting next week most likely after a grocery list is made since she refuses to use any prepared ingredients for her cupcakes so everything must be fresh.

These are the cupcakes my kiddo did for my nieces wedding and the wedding cake I made for them.

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I'm kinda sorta maybe back.....

So it's been a while huh? I've tried to justify myself as to why I've been M.I.A., but really it's just life happening.  Thank God it does that too, the alternative would not be amusing.  It's ridiculous really how fast time flies by, especially when you spend over 3/4 of your life having to sleep.  On the plus side, I've gotten quite a few of my projects done, although most are still half done at this point. I'm tempted to just start writing and tell you everything, but then you know I'd have nothing to say tomorrow or the  next day or the one after that, so I'll try to refrain from spilling the beans for now. I don't expect any of my readers to trust me that I'm going to be back for good this time, so I guess I'll have to be patient and prove myself, not just to me, but to you guys as well this time around, and hopefully I'll do better.  I guess time will tell huh?   So I'll leave you with some teasers.   Still have cats.  Lots of cats. Daughter still at VCUarts. Still working at GameStop. Projects done:  LR and Ofc floors, kitchen floors, painting, stairs, kitchen island. Pets buried:  BooBoo 4/16/12, Fat Man 2/8/2013, Arpeggio 4/17/2013 Parents scammed out of $1000.00 Daughter FINALLY has new BF, he  moved here from Michigan to be with her and is currently living with us until he's on his feet.  He just got a job yesterday. YAY! Husband still being trampled by cats every night, still working too hard for too little money. Teeth are falling out from too many years taking Ritalin and throwing up three times a day.  This sucks by the way, I've always had great teeth, and I'm missing the one I had to have pulled so far and hating the two that are most likely next since they're killing me at the moment. Currently serving as Secundo for Faith Hunter's street team, Beast Claws.  (Check out the Jane Yellowrock books if you haven't already, they're awesome) Enjoying watching Denny Hamlin race, the Cowboys lose and the Avalanche struggle. Still addicted to Food Network, although Walking Dead, Game of Thrones and Big Bang Theory are right up there.  Would probably give up Food Network for Walking Dead though since I'm not so secretly in love with Norman Reedus.   Still roleplaying with my best friend. Discovered Arbor Mist Blackberry Merlot and have turned into a wino, minus the shopping cart and "Will work for Wine" sign. Putting off doing my taxes even though I really need that money cuz well, it's taxes and they're not fun. I guess that's about it for now.  Hopefully I'll do better this time around.

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To Resolution or Not?

That would be a no.  Resolution is a big word, full of failed expectations and no way in hell am I opening myself up to that!  It is the New Year tthough, so instead of making resolutions, I've decided to make a few open ended suggestions to myself and see how that goes.

Maybe in the next ten years I can work myself up to the commitment of an actual resolution.  Yes ladies, be very, very glad I was born with boobs, or I'd have been the oh so typical stereotype of an awful man.

So I've been thinking a lot about my blogs lately and it keeps coming back to the fact that I expect more of myself than I do from my readers, and when I do something I feel fails those expectations, I get pissy or upset or some primarily womanly emotion and don't want to face what I view as my own failure so I skip.

Granted, it HAS been crazy around here lately, the trial I spoke about in my last post back in June is over, and after five months in jail, my cousin was found innocent of all charges.  Wish I could say it ends there, but the other crap that goes along with a divorce is ongoing.  The Kitty Princess is....well good.  After she broke up with the bad boyfriend and stayed away for two months, she took him back and even got engaged.  Ugh.  Now they're apart (for good I think....or maybe hope) and she's kinda sorta seeing someone else.  Someone else with a five year old and a two year old, and it speaks volumes that I'm okay with that because it's still better than the last guy.  She's finally driving (her own 1995 BMW paid for with her own money) and is starting her second semester as a freshman at VCU on the 17th of this month.

Bad boyfriend threatened to kill us both, so we're keeping our guard up for the time being.  He's currently on probation so not quite as worried as I would be otherwise.  He has a pretty strong impulse to stay out of jail.

She's seeing a therapist at school and I hope that will help her get back some of the many things she lost from spending all those years in an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship.

As for everything else, well it comes and goes.  I think I'll do better with keeping up now since I finally got my phone all set up so I get all my stuff on it.  For some reason, I was avoiding my e-mail account like the plague and I guess I'm old enough that technology is starting to be more of a pain in the arse than a friend.  Ugh.  That just sounds old.  I take it back okay?

So I guess you're looking for some of those open ended suggestions huh?  Okay, okay.

1.  Find homes for the rest of the cats here.  If you're curious as to what that's all about click here!  I won't bore you with all the details right here, right now.  For the record that's what I've been doing with most of my time since I've been gone.

2.  Blog when it's the right time instead of forcing myself to do it when I feel I should.

3.  Spend as much time as possible with my family.

4.  Declutter.  House and life.

5.  Lose weight.  Enjoy life completely.

I guess that's the gist of it.  Life is short, the house will keep, the yard will still be there, it's the little things that have always meant the most, just once again, I get lost in the expectations.  Gonna try to stop doing that.  Today.

I should rename my blog.....FAIL blog.

Well, here I am again, after another near two months of being gone.  I'm thinking this isn't working so well.  Thanks to everyone that still keeps me in their feed even though nothing's been showing up.  It seems like just when I decide to do better, all hell breaks loose.

I'm sitting here on the couch in the dark for the most part, watching my daughter sleep.  She broke up with the bad boyfriend today.  She knew it needed to be done, but it breaks my heart to see her hurting and she is.  Regardless of what he's done to her, she loves him as a person if not a soulmate and it's hurting her to see him crying and begging for her to change her mind. 

I'm peripherally involved in a solicitation to commit murder case, and by peripherally, I mean being close to the person currently in prison being held without bond.  It's a nasty mess and I'm terrified it's going to end even worse than I'd hoped which will impact the life of someone I love dearly in a way I'm not sure she can come to terms with.

We survived prom and the Kitty Princess' graduation from high school.  She's been accepted into VCU Arts which is a major accomplishment, so now all that's left is to get her driving at last so she doesn't have to get dropped off at college like a kindergartener on her first day.  That'd be funny in an odd kind of way.

There's hope out there, and trust me I'm not complaining, things could be so much worse, some of YOU are going through things so much worse, but as much as I love my blog, my heart just isn't in it right now.  I hope that will change soon, or even later, as long as it changes.  Until then, I guess I'll be randomly missing for random unknown lengths of time, just wanted to pop in and write a little bit for those of you I haven't talked to in ages.  I feel like singing the wolfpack song.  "You're the ten best friends that anyone could have, you're the ten best friends that anyone could have."  I think just that statement sums up my pathetic state of mind at the moment huh?  Laaaaaaame.  ;)

Hope everyone is having a great summer, I think maybe tomorrow I'll finally try to find the energy to level out a spot for my pool and try to get it filled up so me and the Kitty Princess can spend a few lazy days floating around staring up at the sky and just being besties.  I love that.

If I'm gone too long, will you still remember me?

It's been three months now.  I never intended to be gone so long, and I'm not sure exactly why I have been.  I've thought about it, worried about it, stressed about it, but in the end, I can't apologize because I have no excuse really. 

I know I've mentioned before the whole "getting overwhelmed" thing and I know that has something to do with it.  It seems like with every year that passes, my focus and concentration slips a little more.  I'm sure it has something to do with age, but I'm REALLY missing the Ritalin and Adderall too.  I mean reeeeeally missing them.  I haven't written a word in three months.  Not here, not a novel, not poetry, nothing.  The last time I was here, I made a vow to myself that I'd catch up on everything.  Told myself I'd go back and read everything, would reply to all my comments, post awards that some lovely people had given me, the whole nine yards, but......

I was seriously overwhelmed.   There were so many great comments, so many things I wanted to read that I let it get too big in my head, and when that happens, it's like trying to vacuum at a landfill.  You don't know where to start and know it'll never get done, so you put it on the back burner.  Procrastinate.  Promise you'll do it later.  Three months later.  Give or take.

It's been the same here with life I guess.  So much has been going on I feel totally incapable of dealing with it all sometimes.  When my disability was approved (at last) we finally had some money to do the stuff we've been needing to do for the past five years.  The house needed some work done, the yard needed a LOT done, there were bills to catch up, things I'd been putting off for my daughter because we just couldn't afford it.  She's 18 and still doesn't have her drivers license because we couldn't afford to add her to our insurance.  Her fees for school were past due and we'd gotten the letter "pay or she doesn't graduate".  We were waiting for her to find out if she'd been accepted at the college she applied to, and it went on and on and on.

Finally, maybe, just maybe, the disability award was some kind of psychological vidication for me.  I've been sleeping about 20 hours a day.  I'm sure that it has something to do with it.  Years and years of people thinking the worst of me, and me pushing myself to be and do what people thought I should be doing, and finally I've got something that says "SEE?  I was serious, I DO have a sleeping disorder!" 

Anyway, I've decided the only way I can come back and be like I used to be is to put the past in the past.  I'm sorry if anyone has felt like I've let you down or disappointed you, sorry if anyone has been upset that I haven't stopped by or posted, I love you all, you've all been so good to me, so positive and uplifting and such wonderful friends, that I hope that's not the case.  I'm going to make a real effort to make this blog what it used to be, to pick up where I left off and yes, to update everyone with what I have been up to the past three months. 

I'm anxious to find out what everyone else has been up to as well, and I think I'm going to be a little less strict on myself.  I'm starting slow, it's summer and I've got my wonderful family to spend quality time with, walks to take, pools to lounge beside, shopping to be done, cookouts to have, friends to visit, and cats, oh yes, lots and lots of cats to find homes for now.  It was a cold, cold, cold winter apparently and I've got sixteen little bundles of cute as a freaking button to show for it.

I hope you'll still remember me, hope you'll stop by and say hi every now and again, and know that I didn't stop thinking about you guys at all.

Thirty Days of Truth - Day Eleven & Twelve

I'm going to lie and say I'm putting these together simply because it works instead of admitting that I couldn't for the life of me remember which day was which after I JUST read them to find out what I"m posting today.

All about compliments.

What do I get complimented most on, and what no one ever compliments me on.

This is kinda difficult because usually you can find me in my jammies with my cow slippers on holed up in the house like the crazy cat lady that I am.  Needless to say I'm not famous enough for the paparazzi to be camped out on my deck so they can snap pictures of the newest pj pant design, or write articles about the sorry state of my cow slippers of late.  They're old, you can't blame them for the parts that are supposed to be inside the slipper finding their way to the outside, or for the fact that their ears look more like Yoda than a cow these days. No one has found the need to mention that my roots are more gray then red, or that my makeup isn't quite up to par.

As you guys have drummed into me, at my whining prompt I might add, is that I'm a writer.  Until I've reached the best seller list, pretty sure no one cares what I look like and by then, I might decide to write under a pseudonym and use Brian's (nuclearheadache & the encyclopedia of counted sheep) picture for the back cover.

With that said, the thing I get complimented on the most is my writing.  Granted it's usually from people who love me, or at least find me somewhat amusing, so like I always do, I take it with a grain of salt, but it makes me feel better anyway.

What I never get compliments on?  Everything else.

No, I'm kidding, kinda.  The rarely leaving the house thing comes in here.  Maybe one day I"ll get out of bed and do some sit ups so I can post hot pictures like Eschelle's (Mumfection & The Little Fat Girl That Could) pinup photo.

It's That Time - Or Past That Time Actually....

Okay, so I had good intentions.  I really did.  I started looking for guest posters for this week, oh about a month?  Month and a half ago?  I made my list, and asked around some, and now here it is, two days before the deed and what have I done?  Nothing.  Mostly.

So this is what I've come up with so far.  Since my bestie doesn't get into town until the 3rd actually, I'm starting my Thirty Days of Truth posts today, and I'll catch them up when my bestie goes back home to New York.

From the 3rd until, the 9th, I'll be having guest posters if the lovelies who volunteered are still up for it.

I would like to just add you guys as authors then you can post whenever or however you'd like, so I hope that's okay, but here is what I've got so far.

January 3

AubrieAnne posting at Refusing to Grow Old Gracefully
Lindsay posting at Write Now Write Later

January 4

Eschelle posting at Refusing to Grow Old Gracefully (Let me know if you want to write here too!)
Bryan posting at Write Now Write Later

January 5

Katie posting at Write Now Write Later

January 6

No. 7 (One or both?)

January 7

AubrieAnne posting at Write Now Write Later
Hubs posting on Refusing to Grow Old Gracefully (HA!)

January 8

Hubs posting at Write Now Write Later
Bryan posting at Refusing to Grow Old Gracefully

January 9

Sarah posting at Write Now Write Later
Katie posting at Refusing to Grow Old Gracefully


As you can see, depending on if these ladies prefer to post on one blog or both, I've got some room here for other writers and one whole day that isn't claimed.

I'm so sorry for procrastinating and just now posting this, I honestly meant to do it earlier, but well, that's me.  Chronically late.  I've got e-mails for Lindsay and Eschelle, so if the rest of you guys could e-mail me at djpr[at]comcast[dot]net and give me your email to add you to the author list, it would be ever so much appreciated!  Since I'm HORRID about checking my e-mail, put "Guest Post" in the subject line so I can just scroll through and find it if you don't mind!

I'm excited about this, and I hope you guys are too!  I'll be sticking close to home today, cleaning for my visit, so leave a comment and let me know if you're still with me and if you prefer one or both blogs so I can finalize the schedule!  You guys are the bestest!

OH OH OH and since I've added more new people lately and -insert cheering crowd here- have over 100 followers now, anyone else who would like to guest post for me, please leave me a comment, I'd love to have you!  No rules, no themes, just whatever makes you happy!

Thanks again!

Dear So and So....

So I was hopping around this morning as usual and found a link to 3 Bedroom Bungalow where she's doing a sort of hop with a neat little twist.  Figured it would be the perfect way to end the year and wrap up my first calendar year of blogging as well.  Go check her out and join in, this was too much fun!

Dear 2010,

You were okay, but I'm really hoping next year is nicer.  No offense.

Dear Mornings,

I still don't like you and I'm sure that's not going to change anytime soon.  Even though you've got the whole sunrise thing going, I much prefer your twin, evening and his sunsets are to die for.

Dear Hubs,

Hang in there baby, I love you and things are going to start turning around for us soon, you're an amazing person and I have every confidence in you to be here for me and Kitty, to be the loving, wonderful man you are and to keep us going just like we've done for the past two decades.  When things get bad just remember this.  "Somewhere out there....beneath the pale moonlight, someone's thinking of me, and loving me tonight."

Dear Kitty,

Wow, I guess what I  most need to say is that I trust you to make the right decisions in your life.  Even when I think you're not, I'm going to have faith in you and your intelligence and wisdom.  I'll still be here no matter what, and I'll do my best to support you in your decisions, but in the end?  I'm Mom and no matter what they are, I'll always love you and I'll always be here to either celebrate your happiness or just hold you if you need to cry.

Dear Kitten Cats,

I would very much appreciate it if you did not make more kitten cats this year.  I'll do whatever I have to so be forewarned.  If you wake up with parts missing, I warned you.

Dear Mortgage Company,

You suck.  You will NOT take my house.  I promise you that.  After 17 years I'm attached to it and I'll do whatever it takes to keep it out of your grubby little greedy hands so take that for what it's worth.  A promise.

Dear Kitty's Boyfriend,

I try to like you, but it's not working.  Maybe if you treated my little girl the way I think she should be treated we could come to some kind of mutual understanding.  She's not a trophy for you.  She's not some girl you can treat however you want.  She's special and loving and considerate and you need to see that and appreciate that about her instead of finding things that aren't exactly how you want them to be.

Dear Mom and Goumpa,

I love you guys.  Dearly.  Just so you know.  There aren't words.

Dear Inlaws,

We may not always agree and there are times that I don't understand you at all, but thank you for giving me my husband, for being supportive when you have been, and for welcoming us in your home.

Dear Body,

We have this love hate relationship going on and I'd really like to work on the more love, less hate thing.  We can start with the shoulders and knees if you don't mind.  I'd like them back please.  Oh and if you decided you didn't need quite so much sleep that'd be okay too.  Oh and while we're here you can stop with the aging stuff.  Enough already.

Dear House,

I know you'll never be self cleaning as much as I'd love that, but would it hurt to not attract quite so much kitten cat furs?  Or maybe offer some kind of repellent to guide them towards litterboxes instead of the little throw rug they've christened their own?  I'd also like it if you'd make some kind of policy for the applicances. Washers, hot water heaters, refrigerators?  You know all those things that make puddles when they decide to play dirty?  The puddles that ruin my kitchen floor that I don't have money to replace and the insurance company gets concerned when things keep happening because we can't pay the deductible to get them fixed to begin with?  That'd be real nice.  Please and thank you.  Oh and I know I said I wouldn't complain about it being cold after the air conditioner went nuts and stopped working last summer, so just disregard those complaints please and if the ac unit asked?  You didn't hear a word.

Dear Durango,

I love you.  You've been the one constant in the sea of stuff breaking, busting, leaking, spraying and costing me too much money to replace.  I appreciate that and I love you for it.  Remember what I said though, if I win the lottery, I'm keeping you.  That's true love and I hope you'll continue to reciprocate.

Dear Bed,

I don't have to tell you how much I love you because we spend so much time together.  Not that I don't love it, but you know, I'd like some me time now and then.  If you don't mind.

Dear Novels,

Too bad you're not like my child and grow as fast as she has.  I think I'd like to see you grow, in spite of the headaches you give me from time to time.  I promise I'll spend more time with you this year and when we're done, we'll go out looking for a new home for you.  One with lots of other novels around you to keep you company until people start taking you home to live with them instead.

Dear Disability Office,

It's been a while now.  Not real sure how you guys expect people to live when they're not working and can't work, so a little "arriva" would be the order of the day.  I've done everything you've asked and I've been real nice about it, so let's get a move on shall we?

Dear Bill Collectors,

We meet again.  See Dear Disability Letter above.  One day we'll get this all worked out.

Dear Blog,

I love you.  I'm looking forward to our time together next year.

And finally, Dear Readers,

It's been such a wonderful experience traveling down this road with you all.  What started and sputtered into life has grown to a passion that I enjoy and that I hope you do too.  I've had so much fun discovering new friends, learning more about you guys and what makes you the wonderful people you are, and I'm looking forward to discovering more and more of you next year.  I hope you will all have a happy and blessed new year, that you'll find happiness in every moment of every day and that smiles with surround you.

Happy New Year!

When Writing Goes Wrong...or Right....or Write.....UGH!

I'm beginning to think I'm a narcoleptic with attention deficit disorder.

How the heck does that work anyway?  I'm supposed to be doing Nano and what am I doing?  Writing and making new blogs.  Okay, so maybe I had some help from my kiddo, but still.  My novel remains largely untouched and I'm getting pissy about it.  Chase is strangely quiet and stuck in freeze frame outside her apartment building while life goes on around her.  Let's just hope Stevie doesn't find another crush while she's there.  I've actually got a picture of her in my head, and she's an action figure.  Ugh.  This is NOT good.

So what happens when you get stuck on a scene?

My husband keeps telling me to skip it and move on, but I caaaaaaaaaaaan't!  I've tried.  I know there are some writers who can write random scenes from their novels completely out of order but so help me, I haven't figured out how to do that.  Maybe I could use my cleaning methods on writing?  Hubby complains about that too.  I start cleaning by vacuuming, and the next thing you know all the furniture is in the kitchen and I'm painting the walls, and a couple or maybe dozen hours later the room is clean and spotless and has that new paint smell.  It works there, why can't I get it to work when I'm writing?

I know the narcolepsy has a lot to do with how I do things.  When I was on the Ritalin, I was focused.  Sharp.  Alert.  Even when I was sleeping 14 hours a day.  Wow, those were the days.  TEN whole hours of awake and alert.  My how far we've fallen.  Now I'm  up at noon, napping at two and six and nine and back in bed at twelve.  Is it any wonder I can't write?  At least my novel.

Instead, I start a new blog.  Yep.  One that's not work.  Just fun, all the time.  I guess writing is writing but unless someone wants to syndicate my blogs and pay me scads of money (in that case, have your lawyer call my lawyer and we'll work that out) it's not doing me any good financially where a novel, in my wildest dreams mind you, might make me some money.  One day.  A little.  Maybe.

Maybe Chase is just tired, but I'm about ready to shake her ass awake so she'll start talking again.  In the meantime, I'll just keep writing for fun and fortune (hint hint) and fame (more hints) and let the pages flutter as they may!  Maybe soon the pages won't look like these.

Feed My Addiction!

Okay, so I'm plugging along here and I realize that some of my randomness is too random even for a random blog about random topics.  How's that for random?

Plus, I really love pin up art.

So I made a new blog.  Yep.  Another one.

I'll probably want to shoot myself before too much longer, but until then, here's a linkie to get there!

WHEN you get there (not if peeps, when) you can pick up the button thingy to add to your page too if you want!