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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Hello, I'm Donna and I'm a Food Network Addict.

There I said it.  Are there eleven more steps or something I don't know about?  Ugh.  I hope I'm not going to get bogged down with weekly meetings and steps and sponsors now.  I'm really not into the whole organized life kinda thing and that would just screw with my sleeping schedule.

So how does it start?  You're flipping through the channels looking for something to watch, it's late at night and you hear the words "cotton candy, turducken, dr. pepper and anchovies".  Part of your brain shuts down.  Literally.  You stare at the screen and over the next ten minutes you sit watching in awe or shock or disbelief or something as two people pull together a dessert you'd die for out of those particular ingredients and you're thinking to yourself "This must be some alternate universe!"

It's called Chopped.  And that's where the addiction started.  Like my first sip of Baileys.  There's no going back.  For better or worse, I found it's on the "catch up" section of Comcast OnDemand which means I could catch up.  I went to bed when the sun was rising.  Watched it all night long.  I finally learned what a reduction is.  I learned what a freaking turducken is which still seems like a crime against nature or at least poultry.  I learned that a lot of the stuff I knew how to make already has fancy french names that make it sound a whole lot more yummy.

From there it went to the Great Food Truck Race, and then to Restaurant Impossible.  I do love Robert Irvine. I progressed to Drivers, Dine Ins and Dives and then to Iron Chef.  Not crazy about that one, but I'll watch if I have tv time and nothing else interests me.  I did love "The Next Iron Chef" though, I think because I already knew Alex Guarnaschelli and Geoffrey Zakarian from Chopped and Robert Irvine from Restaurant Impossible.   I was never crazy about Anne Burrell until I discovered "The Worst Cooks in America".  She's won me over!  She's so cute and sweet and energetic and just a little bit crazy.

I denied my addiction for a long time.  I refused to watch Rachel Ray or Paula Dean or Sunny Anderson or that really creepy woman who smiles all the freaking time and really makes me uncomfortable.

Then "Rachel vs. Guy" came on.  Ugh.  I didn't want to like Rachel Ray.  I love Guy, he does Triple D and he's got that crazy thing that makes me like him, plus how cool would it be to drive around in a soft top Camaro and eat all day? He's actually got a sunglass tan!   I'll be honest, that's my kinda job!

I loved the Food Network Challenges, the huge cakes, the pumpkin carvings etc., fell in love with Cupcake Wars, I mean really?  Who wouldn't love cupcakes and wars mish mashed together?  Paula Dean still freaks me out though.  I think it's the teeth, but I'm not sure.  Jury's still out on that one.  That woman loves her some butter doesn't she?

Well, one day I was sitting on the couch, all ready to go out with my Kitty Princess, waiting for her to get ready......and Sunny Anderson was on.  A southern girl, with southern food.  Damnit.  That day I stopped by the grocery store and that night I made chicken meatballs and spinach pesto linguini.

That night I was also forced to admit my addiction.

Maybe I subliminally admitted it even earlier when I asked my in-laws for a food processor for Christmas.  Or maybe it was the first time I used it and felt like some kitchen goddess.

How does this story end?  I don't know.  I can tell you my husband just got home and looked at me with that little grin that I love, the one that shows his dimples, and said.....  "Food Network again?  Seriously?"

I have food in my freezer and refrigerator and I now know how to make risotto, and panzenella.  I know what a turducken is, and how to cook a zucchini flower, and I made chicken meatballs from scratch, even ground my own chicken in my handy dandy food processor.  Now my food processor stays in the kitchen drainer after being washed every single day.  I have a grocery list on my fridge and I know where my baking power, cornstarch and flour are, maybe for the first time in twenty years.

Now I have to buckle down and finally finish my kitchen renovation since my countertops are two different colors and my cabinets are maybe four different colors because I can't decide, so I keep trying new colors.  Maybe one day I'll pull it all together, but for now, gotta run, I'm making lemon ginger marinated chicken with fresh rice and steamed veggies.  Yum!


Kat said...

I used to have a Food Network addiction - I've been in recovery for years. It's going ok.... ;) now we DVR a lot of the shows hehe

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