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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Thirty Days of Truth - Day Fourteen

So yes, I'm about a year behind on these, but better late than never right?

Day fourteen - A hero who has let you down.  (Letter)

Dear Dana,

Sometimes I still think back to when things were so different.  I admired you, respected you, looked up to you, and had so much faith in you it hurt.  I knew even then that your life wasn't perfect, but no ones is, and that's what makes us the people we are.  I thought we were friends.  I've had so few of those in my life that you probably had no idea how much it meant to me to feel that you really were and that you cared about me and my family.

I can't even really remember when things started to unwind, to progress to the point that it's like we never even knew each other.  I still smile though when I think back to the good times.  I remember you helping the Kitty Princess find the tiniest little things in the church yard.  I still don't know how on earth you did it.  A barbie shoe in a half acre of grass?  Amazing.

I know you've been through a lot, and I guess sometimes we hold people like you up to different expectations.  I never did though, I sympathized with you when things started coming out into the open, I protected you and took up for you to anyone who had anything bad to say about you.  When you moved away, I thought maybe we'd keep in touch.  I thought maybe things would be okay in time.  I know it's judgmental but I guess I thought you'd be different than the rest.  That you were sincere, but after going to your father's funeral to pay my respects, I realized that you're just as capable of the rhetoric as the rest of them.  The facade was caring, thankful to have me there, glad to see me and my family.  It was a facade though.  I'm seeing that more now.

When I finally messaged you on Facebook, it all came clear.  You're not who I thought you were.  I don't know if you ever were or if you were just better at playing the game than most.  I can't tell you how disappointed I was and still am.  I still miss you though, and I guess ignorance really is bliss.  I wish you well though, wherever you are and whatever life brings you.



DawnZhang said...

Aww Donna. This was really well written and do not worry. Somebody leaves always! But you know that by now! :) You're awesome! <33

-Dawn xoxo

Katie said...

I'm so sorry Donna for losing such a great friendship. I recently went through something similiar and suppose I still am. We tell ourselves we can move on from a friendship;however, it's so hard sometimes for the mere fact that there is not someone else to replace them.Just remember the fun times you had.You're such a strong person. I'm proud of you for being able to move on.


Bryan M. White said...

Sounds like someone who drifted away, more than one specific incident. I've had a few "friends" like that. Sometimes that's worse that an outright falling out. Like realizing that you never really mattered to them in the first place. Sad.

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