So tired of trying
To make sense of this
When did I become
So cynical
So unable to believe
That anything good
Can be mine?
Instead I let go,
Free fall to see
How far I can drop
Before I hit the
Ground screaming.
Lies are the language
Of choice
Where everyone promises
They’ll be there for you
Love you, care….
“If you need me call”
Lies that sound enough
Like truth that every
Once in a while
You believe.
Every once in a while
You allow yourself
To believe that you’re
Not alone.
But in the end it’s just
You and the mirror
And you face it like a
Convict
Eyes down, guilt drawn
In Technicolor
Over your skin
Begging and pleading
For one more shot
Gun drawn,
One in the chamber
Knowing already that
Chances are like wishes
And if wishes were ponies
We’d all be riding
In the carnival of dreams.
©Donna J. P. Riley
Note: This was written a long long time ago, and does not have anything to do with how I've been feeling lately, even though it may look that way. For me, poetry is such an emotional expression of the written word that it most often comes out as rather dark, almost frightening, even to me. The times when I'm the most depressed, poetry comes easily, almost effortlessly, but I'm a rather odd bird and those feelings come and go like the wind, thankfully!
I'm still struggling to get out of this funk, but thanks to my friends here, for all the wonderful comments and encouragement, I'm doing okay and hopefully will be back to my normal hopefully amusing self before you know it!
Hope you all have a wonderful night and know that I adore you all! <3
5 comments:
The third and final stanza are magnificent, so hard hitting that they sting! Starting next sunday I am hosting a poetry week where we will explore different types of poetry. I'm going to encourage everyone to write with me. I hope you'll contribute some of your poetry because if this piece is a reflection of any of your other work, you're going to reach a lot fo people with your words.
hello beautiful lady! this poem speaks volumes and was written so well. you are such a talented human being. i only wish i had an ounce of your talents.
what you do here is truly amazing. writing has always been a distant passion of mine. i really am inspired by you and think it would be fun to get into it a little bit. perhaps i can incorporate this into my 2011 happiness project :)
you're truly the best and one of my most loyal readers...your so amazing and very appreciated!
xoxo
@AA You know I'm up for that! Even though I haven't written in a while, I've got a ton of poetry lying around here and there! I'm looking forward to that, it'll be fun! Thanks so much for the comment, I'm always super critical of my own poetry, ionno, I guess it goes with the territory lol I'm glad that you liked it, that's all a writer could ever ask for!
@Lindsay You are too sweet! You're so talented it makes me crazy and I'm sure if you dabbled in poetry it would be just as amazing as everything else you do! I love your happiness project btw, I'm playing around with some ideas for mine because I'm SO jumping in with you on that one!
I really liked it!! i love looking back at old things i've written!
Hi Donna. Thanks for stopping by my blog today and leaving a comment. I agree, poetry comes "easily, almost effortlessly," when one is drepressed. I wrote lots of poetry during my college days (God, I was intense back then). And my next best surge of poetry comes when I'm mad. I wrote my first published poem in about 15 minutes in rebellion to a class assignment recently and had to do very little editing (only a title change at the teacher's suggestion). And during times of depression, thank goodness for poetry. I hardly recognize my own words sometimes, but it sure feels good putting them down.
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