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Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Superhero Powers!

Okay, so next question on the list!  Are you ready?  Another question for me from AubrieAnne who went all out on the questions, I love love love it!  Got me thinking and gave me posts for the WHOLE week!  Can’t beat that right?  So without further ado…..

Drum roll time!

-insert drum roll here-

If you could have any superhero power, what would it be?

I actually went online to see what super hero powers were available because I didn’t want to miss out on anything really cool, and after perusing the list, I came up with…..

Mind Control.

This of course would make me a villain, but if you could control minds who cares!  You could make people THINK you were a hero, so it would all come out in the wash, and of course, being a narcoleptic, I wouldn’t lose any sleep over my misdeeds!

Now, you’re wondering why I would be a villain?  Well let me paint you the picture:
  • The clerk at the store would believe with all her heart that those gorgeous three thousand dollar Prada leather boots were on sale for $9.99.
  • Everyone in front of my car on the highway would instantly change lanes.
  • I’d sing my heart out and sound like the Marlboro Man only to myself.  Everyone else would trample Lady GaGa into the ground to get to me.
  • Hugh Jackman would honestly believe I was the love of his life.
  • Various other men (Adam Gontier of Three Days Grace, the guy who plays Alcide on True Blood, Michael Pitt from Boardwalk Empire, Peter Forsberg formerly with the Colorado Avalanche etc. etc.) would all fully believe that Hugh Jackman was the pool boy and I was the love of their lives.  
  • My husband would think all the aforementioned guys were pool boys.
  • All the stray cats in my yard would think the food is next door, in my neighbors yard.
  • My daughter’s boyfriend would suddenly have the overwhelming desire to get a damn job.
  • My daughter would inexplicably decide she needed a better boyfriend.
  • A random rich person would decide they didn’t need that big rambling house in the mountains and that it would be a wonderful gift for a struggling writer.  A place to make novels come alive.
  • Johnny Depp would give me the Black Pearl and the Coast Guard would assume I wasn’t a pirate at all, just a lass out for a bit of fun on the high seas.
  • Random House would give me a ginormous advance for an entire series of Chase McAfferty novels.
  • My previous boss would finally feel guilty over robbing me of almost seventeen thousand dollars of back pay and hand over a big fat check complete with interest for the past four and a half years.
  • The Emergency Room staff would rush me back before everyone else.  (Yes, I’ve been there a few times...)
  • I’d eat out every day and get fabulous steaks on the house, since of course the management would believe I’m the owner.
  • My daughter would get a full scholarship to her college of choice since she’s the next Picasso.
  • My husbands company would decide he’s the best suited to run things from now on.
  • My mother and in-laws would both finally think tattoos and piercings are to die for.
  • My tattoo artist would finally give me the ink I want since well, I gave him a LOT of money.  Last week.
  • And finally, everyone would love me, even if only while they’re with me!
All in all, I think that’s a pretty cool deal.  I know myself well enough to know I would not be a nice person if I could control other peoples minds, but then again, I’d do good stuff too, so insert whatever good stuff makes you feel all warm and fuzzy here and I’d do that too, but it’d just be too damn much fun to be bad!

Another great question, thanks to my buddy AubrieAnne over at Who’s Your Editor!  More to come tomorrow!


AubrieAnne said...

Awesome! I want to be a villain to now! Honestly, the best part of this whole post was your list, especially the part about the pool boys. I'll have to remember that one.

Tanya (a Taste of T) said...

Hmmmm that's a tough one. I think I'd like to move things with my mind.

djpr said...

lol@ Tanya like maybe move Hugh Jackman from Deb's bedroom to mine? You'd do that for me wouldn't you?

@AA We can be villians together! You can cover for me while the pool boys are around! :)

Eschelle said...

lol great answer!
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